Blue plastic bags

Today, right at this very minute l am cross, very cross, blurdey MAD to tell the truth. Why oh why do people in cars view the countryside as a free for all rubbish dump? We know from the detritus strewn along the grass verge that it takes from the local MacDonald's to here to eat a Big Mac meal, we have tesco carrier bags stuffed full of picnic waste, carefully tied and then hurled from passing car windows. Why?

So, by this evening, after having attended a nervous persons all time nightmare in the form of an HSE meeting, that l saw a white van. l was enjoying the final leg of the farm walk, dogs walking smartly to heel at this point. This was not any white van but a YEDL one, well, actually a contractor to YEDL. It was pulled in casually just alongside the roadside gate with its back doors pulled wide open, a man rustling about in the back. Nothing suspicious about that, perhaps someone was having a pee or bird spotting? Then l saw it, or rather HIM. He was carrying a blue carrier bag, carefully tied at the top to prevent anything 'spilling 'out in the back of his van. Then, with the skill of a Driffield rugby club player, tossed the bag with amazing accuracy into the hedge bottom in the corner of the footpath.

Well, l am a bit of a rottweiler when roused and l was roused! Marching across with Gordon & Lucy-Piglet in tow, l shouted into the back of the van. He must have had a hearing problem as there was no answer. Bang bang, l rapped on the door. A face appeared looking not exactly pleased. 'What the hell are you doing' l thundered? 'Take your flipping rubbish home with you!' l continued, my voice becoming more 'Cheltenham' by the minute.

He looked even more angry; me a mere woman telling him off? Poor deluded fellow must have thought l was really stupid, he told me this was work things for tomorrow which he would collect in the morning. Farmer drove past in the JCB. ' That's the farmer', l said, not at all sure that this guy was going to back down. l continued, 'rubbish does not biodegrade in hedge bottoms and dustmen do not walk along footpaths collecting trash, l have to do that!'. I stood there, glaring at him. Lucy-Piglet looking fierce. The prat tried again, ' I am coming back tomorrow to fix the electricity pole'. Aha thinks l, that pole there by the bunker belongs to US and is not connected to the mains. My remark was oh so casual, ' & will that be to bring more rubbish to join that bag over there?'.

He gave up. Leapt over the gate [ impressive] collected the rubbish bag, threw it in the back of the van. I stood on guard just in case he chucked it back when my back was turned and waited purposefully until he drove of.

Farmer, when l told him about the YEDL contract man, asked had l got the van number. Ergh men.